SUPPORTING SURVIVORS OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

By Sarah Ball | MSW, LICSW

Childhood sexual abuse is a very difficult subject to think about and talk about, but it is something we all need to be aware of and know how to best support those in our lives who have been affected. Understandably, this abuse can be very difficult for the victim to overcome and work through, but many survivors of childhood sexual abuse are able to offer hope in that healing and recovery is possible. With the right supportive people in your life, a good therapist, and healing relationships, many survivors move forward towards a healthy life.

YOUR RESPONSE AND SUPPORT

This is often an experience that can cause loved ones to feel frozen and fearful in how to support and help their child. Following the disclosure of abuse, a child needs to be seen and known in their pain. One of the greatest protective factors for a survivor’s healing is having a parent or caregiver believe their story when it is disclosed to them. Sitting with them in the uncomfortable can be most impactful. It is very important in that moment to keep your emotions in check and do the best you can to be present with the child. They need to see you as a supportive person who believes them.

The Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN), the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization, suggests repeating the following messages through your own thoughts and words¹:

· I love you.

· What happened is not your fault.

· I will do everything I can to keep you safe.

COMMON REACTIONS TO CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE AT DIFFERENT AGES AND STAGES

Every child reacts to trauma differently so there is no prescribed way for a child to react. Clinical Psychologist Candice Norcott, PhD of The University of Chicago Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neuroscience, explains some common features per age group:

Preschool Age: Children may experience anxiety, nightmares, and/or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They may engage in inappropriate sexual behavior, including sexualized play with toys.

Elementary Age: At this age, common symptoms may include fear, worsening mental health, aggression, nightmares, school problems, hyperactivity and/or regressive behavior (acting younger than their chronological age).

Adolescents and teens: Depression or complaints of physical distress are common. They may isolate themselves from friends or family or even run away from home. At this age, children may also engage in suicidal or self-harming behaviors, increased sexual risk-taking behaviors, illegal acts, and/or substance misuse.

POSSIBLE IMPACTS OF ABUSE LATER IN LIFE

With peer support and having someone in their life that believed their story, many survivors of childhood sexual abuse go on to have positive, healthy relationships later on in life. Not having this crucial support in their healing process, there is potential that the abuse can negatively impact a survivor’s relationships as an adult. It is not uncommon for a child to struggle with feeling that the abuse was their fault, and as they grow, this can cause them to be unable to move into healthy expectations within the context of relationships.

It is also important to remember that children or adults will need to potentially seek help throughout their life to work on their trauma and how it impacts future/current relationships. Just because someone needs to return to therapy in the future does not mean they did not process their trauma or did not do good work in counseling. Rather, a return to therapy can indicate that new issues have arisen or a new context has come up that needs to be addressed. Therefore, it is important to be open to therapy throughout the lifespan.

Research has also shown that children with unresolved childhood sexual abuse are more likely to struggle with complex medical issues later in life, making it that much more important for caregivers and support persons to listen to the child and reflect to them that this experience was not their fault.

STEPS TO TAKE IF YOU SUSPECT ABUSE HAS OCCURRED

In the state of Alabama, The Department of Human Resources is our child protective services agency. Making a report of abuse is a very serious thing to do, but if you suspect a child is being abused or is unsafe, making a report is the right thing to do, and the Department of Human Resources and law enforcement will determine if the child has been abused or is in an unsafe situation. To find the contact phone number for your county DHR and information on making a report, visit here. The workers through DHR are trained and equipped to investigate the report, and making a report of suspected child abuse is a responsible attempt to protect a child.

Nationally, you may call RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673) to talk to a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area². The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) is another resource you can call to talk with a professional crisis counselor who can provide assistance. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources³. All calls to either hotline are confidential.

PROVIDING SUPPORT WHILE A CHILD IS HEALING

When a child is on their road to healing, take steps to honor their recovery. It is a long road and the support person(s) staying patient in their processing of the event can be the biggest gift to a victim of abuse. Acknowledge their hard work towards healing that they are doing on their own or in therapy. The healing process from abuse can often feel like two steps forward, one step back, but any step of progress needs to be recognized and celebrated.

Sources:

1 https://psychiatry.uchicago.edu/news/dr-norcott-qa-supporting-survivors-childhood-sexual-abuse

2 https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline

3 https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

Additional sources:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/past-trauma-may-haunt-your-future-health

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/about.html